Say the word "ninja" to anyone who isn't a motorcyclist, and most likely they'll picture some spry little dude in black pajamas who can do a standing backflip with an assassin's knife in his right hand and somehow avoid stabbing himself. Ninjas are by definition stealthy, quick, light on their feet, silent and lethal. They are not stand-and-fight dudes. They are the perfect biological manifestation of the term "surgical strike."
That's why Ninja is the wrong name for this bike: The 2008 Kawasaki ZX-14 Ninja is more of a Samurai — beefy, physical, tough, and powerful. It's Toshiro Mifune swinging a two-handed broadsword, not some puny weasel with a sushi knife. Of course, both are capable of removing your head, but their styles are very different. This thing is a brutal ass-kicker, not a surgical tool. In car terms, think Viper ACR, not Lotus Exige.
To be fair to those who wield the monikers at the Big K, there have long been two kinds of Ninja motorcycles. Appearing in an era of portly, steel-framed bikes, the first Ninja kind of split the difference. The revolutionary GPZ900R Ninja blew away the competition because it was lighter, faster, quicker, and more responsive than anything in its class — even though it gave up a few hundred cc's to bikes like the CBR1100.
Of course there were (and are) Kawasaki Ninja models more literally "Ninja-esque." For example, the Ninja 250 — updated for '08 and now in its 22nd year — is a fun little screamer that helped many club road racers get started. The EX-500 Ninja was also a lightweight parallel twin, but had twice the displacement.
The Big Ninja line (by now you should get the sense that this has an oxymoronic ring to it, like "jumbo shrimp"), however, was a huge hit, and sportbike riders with a jones for juice came in droves. Of course, like most junkies, we quickly became accustomed to the potency and demanded more. The dosage was upped in the form of the ZX-10 and the liter-bike wars of the '90s were fully underway. But then, for those of us who like our handling served crisp alongside the fat dollops of peak hp and torque, Kawasaki lost its way, and knee-down types headed to Suzuki for its far more nimble GSXR series. Like recently retired boxers who move from the ring to the weight room, the big Ninjas just got bigger, heavier, and more plodding. Bikes like the ZX-11 and ZX-12 were fast as hell but you sure had to keep your wits about you on a tight road.
The ZX-14 for 2008 truly kicks ass because while it is a large bike, it is nimble and quick, too. Why? Well it has a lot to do with the two key ratios — namely, power:weight and power:displacement. Kawasaki claims power has been upped to 193 hp at the crank, which is a helluva lot from a sub-1.4 liter mill. Ten more ponies join the team at speed thanks to the ram airbox. At the rear wheel, expect somewhere in the neighborhood of 175 hp. I'm not all that good at math, but I think this would be like having 800 hp motivating your Lancer Evo. The Zixxer is also EURO III compliant, so besides being quicker, it's quieter and cleaner than last year's model. Now you can feel "socially responsible" as you hit that 3rd gear power wheelie at a buck twenty. That the whole thing, dripping wet, still only weighs a quarter of a ton is a testament to modern metallurgy — even though it is saddled with a huge, heavy exhaust system full of catalysts and extra sound deadening. Alrighty, let's ride shall we?
Today's Menu: A Street Ride, A Track Test, A Change of Underwear
If there was a knock on the previous model, it was that the bike was a bit of a turd in the low- and midrange given the promise of its top end. Kawasaki liked the idea of a bike that would be manageable and docile when commuting or just rolling around, but had a big top end hit you could access when you really wanted it. Cool idea, but the bike felt a bit Jekyll and Hyde-y; the transitions between the two personalities could be jarring. So Kawi's mandate for this year was to fix that, and oh-boy-howdy did it ever.
At the press introduction in glorious Fontana, California, the dreariest part of SoCal's "inland empire," we sat through the chalk talk and then got the green light to saddle up. I jumped on the nastiest looking machine in the line: a black flame job that looks like a pro-custom painter spent a couple of days striping and spraying, but only costs $300 more than the kitchen-appliance-grey model. Besides, it matched my jacket.
We were headed for the hills, but had a few freeway exits to roll past first. Riding in a legal/normal fashion, the ZX-14 is plush, comfortable, and quiet. The ergonomics are just right and I could easily see rolling up a 500-mile day on this bike without needing ibuprofen with my dinner. We turned left to head up the mountain toward Lake Arrowhead and the road soon turned curvy. Funny thing about this road: I didn't remember hearing that someone had removed all the straightaways. Even at partial throttle at anything above 5 grand I found myself giggling and thinking, "Damn! This thing is crazy fast." Twisting the throttle at corner exits is like bringing a howitzer to a barfight. Sure you'll win, but who's gonna clean up the mess? So I pictured my children, decided I wanted to see them again, and short-shifted. This is how I learned to love the revised midrange and the long, completely linear and predictable ramp of torque. The bike is just as thrilling as last year's model, but is now easier to ride and therefore safer. Speaking of which, slowing down is sometimes necessary and it's nice that the petal-style brake rotors shed heat so you won't boil your Dot-5 when doing repeated downhill stoppies.
After lunchtime we headed back down the hill to California Speedway, where we were, unfortunately, not afforded a chance to flog the beast on the banking. We were, however, given carte blanche at the dragstrip, allowing us all to answer the question, "So what'll she do in the quarter mile?" The first full-throttle run through the bottom three gears was all it took. Imagine having your beer wagon hauled by a Clydesdale with a Saturn V booster up its ass. Yes, the prodigious helpings of both horsepower and torque are that thrilling.
To help us find our way, Kawasaki thoughtfully brought along eight-time drag-racing champ Rickey Gadson to be our personal trainer. Turns out you can't just gas it, dump the clutch, and hold on if you want a quick run. There's a real technique to balancing all the forces while getting the most out of the motorcycle. Part of this included not missing any shifts (like I did a couple times), applying full throttle as fast as possible (I did one run at a testicularly limited 7/8 throttle without even knowing it), and being smooth with the clutch (I popped it once and the front wheel came up so fast I thought I was gonna be wearing the bike as a hat).
Gadson is one of those rare racers who is also a good teacher, and after each run he'd come up and say just the right thing...and the next run got quicker. My best E.T. was 10.2 seconds and the trap speed was somewhere north of 140, which is just about where I had to upshift to 4th gear. This is pretty quick for a streetbike, but I'm thinking I probably left a few tenths on the table — a couple of my colleagues had better technique and dropped into the high nines.
But the craziest part of it all is that after 10 runs with brutal acceleration that shuts off your breathing, of intensely building triple-digit speeds right next to a low concrete wall, of the nauseating feel of the slimy, silt-covered braking zone after the trap, all of it, began to feel...normal. I had become one with the Samurai, and damned if I didn't start thinking, "I wonder what this would be like with a turbo and nitrous?"
